Mom Achievement Unlocked: had a melt down over spilled breast milk
first thing's first, whoever coined the phrase "don't cry over spilled milk" was
A: not a woman and B: should be slapped.
early days of breast feeding are hard. i had no idea how much pumping breast milk would be a part of my life with the NTH and i'm so grateful for the friend who gave me her breast pump when she found out i was expecting.
my 'supply' as they say was, and still is, low. i'm on a medication to increase it and i pump so i can tell how much NTH is getting. when i nurse he is always topped up with either formula or pumped milk. pumping is a boring, unglamorous chore - many a hallmark channel movie has been watched whilst i'm connected to that thing ('tis the season...ok, let's face it, i don't need an excuse to watch schmaltzy hallmark movies). if i hadn't fashioned a hands-free pumping bra (buy a cotton sports bra and cut a hole at the nipple. better yet, for a free version grab a few extra pairs of hospital mesh undies, cut the legs off so it's a tube top, and then cut the hole) i would be losing my mind.
all this to say, by the time NTH was about 2 weeks old the fear of God was put into me by the Mother/Baby clinic at the hospital that he wasn't getting enough & i needed to use formula after every feeding and pump for 15 minutes each side (after every feeding!). i was schlepping in to see them what felt like every 3 days to get NTH weighed and i was still very hormonal and, of course, sleep deprived.
one night around midnight i had managed to pump around 50ml and i was so relieved. like, this brought me life. i unhooked the pump and managed to knock the bottle over and spilled like 10ml. i may have sworn. i felt so defeated; every drop was precious. on my way downstairs to put it in the fridge i stopped to bemoan to my husband that i spilled some and all of the sudden he says "whoa! you're tipping it!" and too late, 1/2 of it was gone! the lid wasn't on tight and it leaked all over me and the floor.
i lost it. LOST IT.
that was a whole feeding gone. i still get emotional thinking about it. we somehow are conditioned to think formula is a failure. i had a mix of that thinking and stress about the cost of formula (breast milk is free, hallelujah, and my bank account needs the free option).
whatever your baby feeding looks like, breast milk, formula, pumping, nursing, or whatever mix thereof, i wish you all the best and i will never condescendingly say "don't cry over spilled milk". know that i am crying (& muttering swears) right there with you.
first thing's first, whoever coined the phrase "don't cry over spilled milk" was
A: not a woman and B: should be slapped.
early days of breast feeding are hard. i had no idea how much pumping breast milk would be a part of my life with the NTH and i'm so grateful for the friend who gave me her breast pump when she found out i was expecting.
my 'supply' as they say was, and still is, low. i'm on a medication to increase it and i pump so i can tell how much NTH is getting. when i nurse he is always topped up with either formula or pumped milk. pumping is a boring, unglamorous chore - many a hallmark channel movie has been watched whilst i'm connected to that thing ('tis the season...ok, let's face it, i don't need an excuse to watch schmaltzy hallmark movies). if i hadn't fashioned a hands-free pumping bra (buy a cotton sports bra and cut a hole at the nipple. better yet, for a free version grab a few extra pairs of hospital mesh undies, cut the legs off so it's a tube top, and then cut the hole) i would be losing my mind.
all this to say, by the time NTH was about 2 weeks old the fear of God was put into me by the Mother/Baby clinic at the hospital that he wasn't getting enough & i needed to use formula after every feeding and pump for 15 minutes each side (after every feeding!). i was schlepping in to see them what felt like every 3 days to get NTH weighed and i was still very hormonal and, of course, sleep deprived.
one night around midnight i had managed to pump around 50ml and i was so relieved. like, this brought me life. i unhooked the pump and managed to knock the bottle over and spilled like 10ml. i may have sworn. i felt so defeated; every drop was precious. on my way downstairs to put it in the fridge i stopped to bemoan to my husband that i spilled some and all of the sudden he says "whoa! you're tipping it!" and too late, 1/2 of it was gone! the lid wasn't on tight and it leaked all over me and the floor.
i lost it. LOST IT.
that was a whole feeding gone. i still get emotional thinking about it. we somehow are conditioned to think formula is a failure. i had a mix of that thinking and stress about the cost of formula (breast milk is free, hallelujah, and my bank account needs the free option).
whatever your baby feeding looks like, breast milk, formula, pumping, nursing, or whatever mix thereof, i wish you all the best and i will never condescendingly say "don't cry over spilled milk". know that i am crying (& muttering swears) right there with you.
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